- Instead of dismissing negative feelings about a sibling, acknowledge the feelings;
- Give Children in fantasy what they don't have in reality, express what the child might wish;
- Help children channel their hostile feelings into symbolic or creative outlets;
- Use words not behavior to express feelings;
- Make grievances list, allow bad feelings leads to good feelings;
- Avoid unfavorable/favorable comparisons among children;
- Be specific on praises;
- Instead of worrying about giving equal amount, focus on each child's individual needs;
- Instead of claiming equal love, show children how they're loved uniquely;
- Give time in terms of need;
- Children don't need to be treated equally, they need to be treated uniquely
- Let no child locked into a role either by others (parents/siblings), or him/herself.
- Children with problems don't need to be viewed as problem children
- Acceptance of their frustration
- Appreciation for what they have accomplished however imperfect
- Help in focusing solution
- Leave the final decison up to the children while resolving a conflict.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Siblings Without Rivalry
Leafed through the book last night. Here are some pointers that can be put into practice.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
To live with HBP
Went to see my doctor today for HBP. She prescribed me a low dosage of betablock. It looks like the only way to get away from medication is lifestyle change and reducing stress.
Lifestyle and home remedies for prehypertension
As your blood pressure increases, so does your risk of cardiovascular disease. That's why it's so important to control prehypertension. The key is a commitment to healthy lifestyle changes.
Lifestyle and home remedies for prehypertension
By Mayo Clinic staff
As your blood pressure increases, so does your risk of cardiovascular disease. That's why it's so important to control prehypertension. The key is a commitment to healthy lifestyle changes.
- Eat healthy foods. Try the Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) diet. Choose fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat dairy foods. Eat less saturated fat and total fat.
- Maintain a healthy weight. If you're overweight, losing even 5 pounds can lower your blood pressure.
- Use less salt. A lower sodium level — 1,500 milligrams (mg) a day — is appropriate for people 51 years of age or older, and individuals of any age who are African-American or who have hypertension, diabetes or chronic kidney disease. Otherwise healthy people can aim for 2,300 mg a day or less. While you can reduce the amount of salt you eat by putting down the saltshaker, you should also pay attention to the amount of salt that's in the processed foods you eat, such as canned soups or frozen dinners.Increase physical activity.
- Regular physical activity can help lower your blood pressure and keep your weight under control. Strive for at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day.
- Yoga and exercise
- Go to bed at 11:00pm
- Delegating tasks
- Pray
Monday, November 28, 2011
How Elite Firms Hire: The Inside Story
How Elite Firms Hire: The Inside Story
Bryan Caplan
I highly recommend Lauren Rivera's "Ivies, Extracurriculars, and Exclusion" (Research in Social Stratification and Mobility 2011). Not only is the piece careful, edifying, and interesting; it's even emotionally affecting. Learning more about elite hiring actually replaced my apathy toward elite firms with sour grapes: "I never wanted to work for you anyway!"
Rivera's sample:
I examined hiring processes in three types of elite professional service firms: investment banks, law firms, and management consulting firms. These types of firms share important similarities, allowing for a robust comparison.
Her approach:
From 2006 to 2008, I conducted 120 interviews with professionals directly involved in undergraduate and graduate hiring decisions in top-tier firms in each of the three industries under study (i.e., 40 per industry). Participants included hiring partners, managing directors, and mid-level employees who conduct interviews and screen resumes as well as human resource managers.
[...]
To supplement interviews with behavioral data, I conducted fieldwork within the recruiting department of one elite professional service firm over a period of nine months. My role was that of a participant observer. Given my prior professional experience at a peer firm and in event planning, I was brought on as an unpaid "recruiting intern" to help plan and execute recruitment events... I shadowed recruiters through the recruitment process for full-time and summer associate candidates from a single, elite professional school, debriefed interviewers on job candidates immediately following interviews, and sat in on group deliberations where candidates were discussed and ultimately selected.
Big results:
1. Most applications practically go straight in the trash.
Because professionals balanced recruitment responsibilities with full-time client work, they often screened resumes while commuting to and from the office and client sites; in trains, planes, and taxis; frequently late at night and over take out... [E]valuators tended to do so very rapidly, typically bypassing cover letters (only about fifteen percent reported even looking at them) and transcripts and reported spending between 10 s to 4 min per resume.
2. Evaluators have a lot of slack.
[M]ost firms did not have a standard resume scoring rubric that they used to make interview decisions, evaluators reported "going down the page" from top to bottom, focusing on the pieces of resume data they personally believed were the most important "signals" of candidate quality. (emphasis mine)
In fact, evaluators explicitly select candidates similar to themselves in school rank, grades, etc. For example:
[R]oughly one-third of evaluators did not use educational prestige as a signal. One of the
primary differences between these two groups was their own educational history, with those who had attended "top" schools being more likely to use educational prestige as a screen than those who had attended other types of selective institutions.
3. Super-elite credentials matter much more than your academic record:
[E]valuators drew strong distinctions between top four universities, schools that I term the super-elite, and other types of selective colleges and universities. So-called "public Ivies" such as University of Michigan and Berkeley were not considered elite or even prestigious...
4. Super-elite schools matter because they're strong signals, not because they're better at building human capital:
Evaluators relied so intensely on "school" as a criterion of evaluation not because they believed that the content of elite curricula better prepared students for life in their firms - in fact, evaluators tended to believe that elite and, in particular, super-elite instruction was "too abstract," "overly theoretical," or even "useless" compared to the more "practical" and "relevant" training offered at "lesser" institutions...
[I]t was not the content of an elite education that employers valued but rather the perceived rigor of these institutions' admissions processes. According to this logic, the more prestigious a school, the higher its "bar" for admission, and thus the "smarter" its student body.
[...]
In addition to being an indicator of potential intellectual deficits, the decision to go to a lesser known school (because it was typically perceived by evaluators as a "choice") was often perceived to be evidence of moral failings, such as faulty judgment or a lack of foresight on the part of a student.
5. At least in this elite sample, I'm totally wrong to think that extracurriculars don't matter:
[E]valuators believed that the most attractive and enjoyable coworkers and candidates would be those who had strong extracurricular "passions." They also believed that involvement in activities outside of the classroom was evidence of superior social skill; they assumed a lack of involvement was a signal of social deficiencies... By contrast, those without significant extracurricular experiences or those who participated in activities that were primarily academically or pre-professionally oriented were perceived to be "boring," "tools," "bookworms," or "nerds" who might turn out to be "corporate drones" if hired.But they have to be the right kind of extracurriculars. You have to signal that you're not signaling! Across the board, they privileged activities that were motivated by "personal" rather than "professional" interest, even when activities were directly related to work within their industry (e.g., investing, consulting, legal clinic clubs) because the latter were believed to serve the instrumental purpose of "looking good" to recruiters and were suspected of being "resume filler" or "padding" rather than evidence of genuine "passion," "commitment," and "well-roundedness."
Don't imagine, though, that you should merely follow your bliss:
[T]hey differentiated being a varsity college athlete, preferably one that was also a national or Olympic champion, versus playing intramurals; having traveled the globe with a world-renowned orchestra as opposed to playing with a school chamber group; and having reached the summit of Everest or Kilimanjaro versus recreational hiking. The former activities were evidence of "true accomplishment" and dedication, whereas the latter were described as things that "anyone could do."
6. Grades do matter somewhat, but mostly as a cut-off. They're a signal of work ethic more than IQ:
[M]ost evaluators did not believe that grades were an indicator of intelligence. Rather, they provided a straightforward and "fair" way to rank candidates, particularly those within a given school... [G]rades were used to measure a candidate's moral qualities. An attorney (Asian-American, male), believed that grades were an indication of a candidate's coping skills, "It tells me how they can handle stress; if they'd had their feet to the flames before. If they've gotten good grades at a very competitive school, they're probably pretty sharp and can take care of themselves."
If labor economists want to understand how real-world labor markets actually work, these are the kinds of pieces they'll be reading - and eventually writing.
Bryan Caplan
I highly recommend Lauren Rivera's "Ivies, Extracurriculars, and Exclusion" (Research in Social Stratification and Mobility 2011). Not only is the piece careful, edifying, and interesting; it's even emotionally affecting. Learning more about elite hiring actually replaced my apathy toward elite firms with sour grapes: "I never wanted to work for you anyway!"
Rivera's sample:
I examined hiring processes in three types of elite professional service firms: investment banks, law firms, and management consulting firms. These types of firms share important similarities, allowing for a robust comparison.
Her approach:
From 2006 to 2008, I conducted 120 interviews with professionals directly involved in undergraduate and graduate hiring decisions in top-tier firms in each of the three industries under study (i.e., 40 per industry). Participants included hiring partners, managing directors, and mid-level employees who conduct interviews and screen resumes as well as human resource managers.
[...]
To supplement interviews with behavioral data, I conducted fieldwork within the recruiting department of one elite professional service firm over a period of nine months. My role was that of a participant observer. Given my prior professional experience at a peer firm and in event planning, I was brought on as an unpaid "recruiting intern" to help plan and execute recruitment events... I shadowed recruiters through the recruitment process for full-time and summer associate candidates from a single, elite professional school, debriefed interviewers on job candidates immediately following interviews, and sat in on group deliberations where candidates were discussed and ultimately selected.
Big results:
1. Most applications practically go straight in the trash.
Because professionals balanced recruitment responsibilities with full-time client work, they often screened resumes while commuting to and from the office and client sites; in trains, planes, and taxis; frequently late at night and over take out... [E]valuators tended to do so very rapidly, typically bypassing cover letters (only about fifteen percent reported even looking at them) and transcripts and reported spending between 10 s to 4 min per resume.
2. Evaluators have a lot of slack.
[M]ost firms did not have a standard resume scoring rubric that they used to make interview decisions, evaluators reported "going down the page" from top to bottom, focusing on the pieces of resume data they personally believed were the most important "signals" of candidate quality. (emphasis mine)
In fact, evaluators explicitly select candidates similar to themselves in school rank, grades, etc. For example:
[R]oughly one-third of evaluators did not use educational prestige as a signal. One of the
primary differences between these two groups was their own educational history, with those who had attended "top" schools being more likely to use educational prestige as a screen than those who had attended other types of selective institutions.
3. Super-elite credentials matter much more than your academic record:
[E]valuators drew strong distinctions between top four universities, schools that I term the super-elite, and other types of selective colleges and universities. So-called "public Ivies" such as University of Michigan and Berkeley were not considered elite or even prestigious...
4. Super-elite schools matter because they're strong signals, not because they're better at building human capital:
Evaluators relied so intensely on "school" as a criterion of evaluation not because they believed that the content of elite curricula better prepared students for life in their firms - in fact, evaluators tended to believe that elite and, in particular, super-elite instruction was "too abstract," "overly theoretical," or even "useless" compared to the more "practical" and "relevant" training offered at "lesser" institutions...
[I]t was not the content of an elite education that employers valued but rather the perceived rigor of these institutions' admissions processes. According to this logic, the more prestigious a school, the higher its "bar" for admission, and thus the "smarter" its student body.
[...]
In addition to being an indicator of potential intellectual deficits, the decision to go to a lesser known school (because it was typically perceived by evaluators as a "choice") was often perceived to be evidence of moral failings, such as faulty judgment or a lack of foresight on the part of a student.
5. At least in this elite sample, I'm totally wrong to think that extracurriculars don't matter:
[E]valuators believed that the most attractive and enjoyable coworkers and candidates would be those who had strong extracurricular "passions." They also believed that involvement in activities outside of the classroom was evidence of superior social skill; they assumed a lack of involvement was a signal of social deficiencies... By contrast, those without significant extracurricular experiences or those who participated in activities that were primarily academically or pre-professionally oriented were perceived to be "boring," "tools," "bookworms," or "nerds" who might turn out to be "corporate drones" if hired.But they have to be the right kind of extracurriculars. You have to signal that you're not signaling! Across the board, they privileged activities that were motivated by "personal" rather than "professional" interest, even when activities were directly related to work within their industry (e.g., investing, consulting, legal clinic clubs) because the latter were believed to serve the instrumental purpose of "looking good" to recruiters and were suspected of being "resume filler" or "padding" rather than evidence of genuine "passion," "commitment," and "well-roundedness."
Don't imagine, though, that you should merely follow your bliss:
[T]hey differentiated being a varsity college athlete, preferably one that was also a national or Olympic champion, versus playing intramurals; having traveled the globe with a world-renowned orchestra as opposed to playing with a school chamber group; and having reached the summit of Everest or Kilimanjaro versus recreational hiking. The former activities were evidence of "true accomplishment" and dedication, whereas the latter were described as things that "anyone could do."
6. Grades do matter somewhat, but mostly as a cut-off. They're a signal of work ethic more than IQ:
[M]ost evaluators did not believe that grades were an indicator of intelligence. Rather, they provided a straightforward and "fair" way to rank candidates, particularly those within a given school... [G]rades were used to measure a candidate's moral qualities. An attorney (Asian-American, male), believed that grades were an indication of a candidate's coping skills, "It tells me how they can handle stress; if they'd had their feet to the flames before. If they've gotten good grades at a very competitive school, they're probably pretty sharp and can take care of themselves."
If labor economists want to understand how real-world labor markets actually work, these are the kinds of pieces they'll be reading - and eventually writing.
Thanksgiving with HBP
Stayed at home for past 10 days. It turned out I didn't get the rest I was hoping for. K was still working on the house the first 5 days, which made me increasingly irritable for all the mess he created. Then came the incident that R cut his own hair!! It was the tipping point for my BP. The rest of days were filled up with preparing food for parties and parties. By the end of the week, I was totally exhausted and miserable. Back to office on Cyber Monday, the first thing I did was to call my doctor to make appointment for my BP.
Monday, November 21, 2011
说话课之后续
R的说话课从去年11月开始，整整一年。今天去和说话课老师开会，老师说R的说话水平已达到同龄孩子的正常水平，不需要再上说话课了。从现在开始他还有一年半的时间继续提高，到学前班的时候应该没有问题。我注意到他开始说的比较多是从今年春天开始，有时候一个人也自言自语的。说话课到底起了多大作用还很难说，我觉得更有可能是他的语言神经开始搭线了。和T比较起来，他的语言还是晚了很多，包括对字母和数字的认识。老师建议用context learning，从logo入手。看来得开始每天给他做一个语言练习。
下面是一些初步的设想
1. 找字母、数字游戏，从一堆字母，数字中找到要找的字母、数字
2. 在街上找字母
3. 看购物指南找字母
4. 自己讲故事
下面是一些初步的设想
1. 找字母、数字游戏，从一堆字母，数字中找到要找的字母、数字
2. 在街上找字母
3. 看购物指南找字母
4. 自己讲故事
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Who are those winners?
W's team got into SSC final last night. His mom was exhilarated. I can certainly relate to her. SSC final is a big deal for any high school students who have set their eyes on Ivy. Out of curiosity, I looked up the past winners of SSC to see what caliber they possess.
First of all, they’re all-around students. Most of them are NMS, National AP Scholars. Secondly, they’re a group of young kids with extraordinary accomplishments. Most of them participated in math and science competitions and won at local, state and national level. Their extracurricular activities ranging from Model UN, Boy Scouts, science bowl, math club, speech and debate club, robotics team to National Forensics League, etc. Many hold leadership positions at various clubs and student bodies. Some of them have very impressive music credentials. They all volunteer at different levels; some had won Presidential Service Gold Award. They also participate in sports. Some are published Authors in peer-review magazines and student magazines. One guy even shadowed a neurologist. Amazingly among 20 2010 finalists, 15 are Asians.
From the profiles of these winners, one can tell the heavy parent involvement and investments. It’s not surprise they have arrived at SSC final.
Some footnotes:
Competitions: Mathematical, Physics, and Computing Olympiads, BioGENEius Competition Princeton University Mathematics Competition and Pennsylvania Math League, Intel ISEF in Cellular/Molecular Biology, MathCounts, Aardvark Science Expo, Association of Computing Machinery (ACM)
Volunteer: Presidential Service Gold Award
Writing: Scholastic Writing Gold Key, National Spanish and Latin Exams, National Council of Teachers of English Superior Writing contest, Aerie International
Music: Eastman International Piano Competition
Summer program: Lego Mindstorms at a US Naval Academy summer
First of all, they’re all-around students. Most of them are NMS, National AP Scholars. Secondly, they’re a group of young kids with extraordinary accomplishments. Most of them participated in math and science competitions and won at local, state and national level. Their extracurricular activities ranging from Model UN, Boy Scouts, science bowl, math club, speech and debate club, robotics team to National Forensics League, etc. Many hold leadership positions at various clubs and student bodies. Some of them have very impressive music credentials. They all volunteer at different levels; some had won Presidential Service Gold Award. They also participate in sports. Some are published Authors in peer-review magazines and student magazines. One guy even shadowed a neurologist. Amazingly among 20 2010 finalists, 15 are Asians.
From the profiles of these winners, one can tell the heavy parent involvement and investments. It’s not surprise they have arrived at SSC final.
Some footnotes:
Competitions: Mathematical, Physics, and Computing Olympiads, BioGENEius Competition Princeton University Mathematics Competition and Pennsylvania Math League, Intel ISEF in Cellular/Molecular Biology, MathCounts, Aardvark Science Expo, Association of Computing Machinery (ACM)
Volunteer: Presidential Service Gold Award
Writing: Scholastic Writing Gold Key, National Spanish and Latin Exams, National Council of Teachers of English Superior Writing contest, Aerie International
Music: Eastman International Piano Competition
Summer program: Lego Mindstorms at a US Naval Academy summer
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Kept Women, 修为与正果
不久前看Coco Before Chanel. 原来这个缔造了庞大时装帝国的女人竟是靠做Kept Woman上位的。在上个世纪初的法国，孤儿院出来的女孩子，虽然有一技之长，要进入上层社会还是只有做小三一条路。Coco在小三的空间里发奋图强，磨砺己长，广植人脉，为将来做铺垫。她的可贵之处在于她从来没浪费时间去追逐婚姻的承诺。一旦她获取了经济的独立，她就不再是任何人的Kept Woman。Coco无疑给小三们示范了一条成功之路。
无独有偶，最近还看了Veronica Franco的传记片和Sabina Spielrein的纪录片，一个是16世纪的威尼斯名妓，另一个是和Coco差不多同时代的俄国犹太人，心理分析师。她们都才华非凡，都一度在婚姻的围墙外徘徊。Veronica最后选择做了职业妓女，靠身体来赚晚餐兼拯救国家；Sabina与荣格纠结无果，最后只能回归传统的婚姻。她们在小三的空间里失去的比得到的更多，因为她们爱男人甚于爱自己。我们之所以知道她们还是因为她们身后的那些男人们。但是对Coco来说，她身后的男人们都烟消云散了，她仍然耸立。
Thursday, November 17, 2011
日本人的性格一瞥
今天在等T游泳的时候看到Moonwalking With Einstein书中关于小鸡性别检验师的一段，特别有趣。在上世纪20年代，这是一个高难度的技术活，需要2年的专业学习，淘汰率极高，只有日本能培养出这样的专才。验一只鸡赚一分钱，好的检验师一个小时可以验1700只，通常一天有500元的收入。这些日本检验师在世界各地到处出差，就跟今天的商业顾问一样。日本人性格当中有一种顽强认真的劲头，这在战后日本的制造业的崛起当中也体现出来。
顺便提一句，今天还看到明末曾有大批的东渡行为，把王明阳的学说带到了日本，以至于明治时期盛行一时。
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
《索尔维格之歌》
小时候听格里格的培尔金特，最喜欢的就是《索尔维格之歌》这一段。但是从来没有试图去明白歌词和故事的背景。大约知道培尔金特是个浪子。白桦有人贴了几个《索尔维格之歌》的版本，重新听来仍然感动。于是去了维基，把培尔金特的故事看了一遍。在最后一幕，培尔金特垂垂老矣，回到故乡，面对自己的过往--未竟之业，未唱之歌，未擦之泪，未问之问题，他无法回答神的审判。这时他只有找到他年轻时的恋人索尔维格，询问他自己的过犯。但是索尔维格回答说，“你没有过犯，我最亲爱的孩子。”培尔大惑，他坚信自己确实沉沦了，于是他问她，“自我们最后相会之后，培尔金特流浪到何方？那个真实而完全的我，前额有神的印记的我，那本该是我的我在哪里？” 她回答说，“在我的信，望，爱里。”
Perchance both winter and spring will pass,
and next summer, and the entire year: —
but at last you will come, that I know for sure;
and I'll still be waiting, for I once promised I would.
God give you strength, wherever in the world you go!
God give you joy, when you stand before his judgement seat!
Here I'll wait until you come again;
and if you are waiting up above, there we'll meet, my love!
Perchance both winter and spring will pass,
and next summer, and the entire year: —
but at last you will come, that I know for sure;
and I'll still be waiting, for I once promised I would.
God give you strength, wherever in the world you go!
God give you joy, when you stand before his judgement seat!
Here I'll wait until you come again;
and if you are waiting up above, there we'll meet, my love!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Reactions to a tragedy
Opened my email inbox this morning, there were many emails from parents of T's class about the tragic accident yesterday. Room parents suggested to have kids writing cards and sending little gifts to Kyla and her little sister; some suggested to have a food basket sent to the hospital where they stay. By the end of the day, LKE sent out email to the community notifying a fund was set up for the family. T and I went to the store after he swimming class bought some gifts too.
I was touched again by how people here express their grieves and sympathy when dealing with difficulty situations. It reminds me the first sympathy card I got when I came back to US after mourning for my mother's pass. The gesture of showing sympathy not only made me feel a connection with others, which I desperately needed at the moment, it actually helped me move on.
I was touched again by how people here express their grieves and sympathy when dealing with difficulty situations. It reminds me the first sympathy card I got when I came back to US after mourning for my mother's pass. The gesture of showing sympathy not only made me feel a connection with others, which I desperately needed at the moment, it actually helped me move on.
Monday, November 14, 2011
"Bad News and Good News" Day
Got a phone call this morning from T's school that there was a student in her class got involved in a traffic accident, at which her mom and older sister (a third grader at the same school) got killed. I was shocked to say the least. Checked the local news website, the images were horrific. The SUV top was almost flattened. The lady over the phone reassured me that they have teachers and counselors talk to kids, parents are welcome to come to school to talk to their kids too.
I debated if I should go to T's school, but decided not to. It makes more sense to see kid's reaction before taking any actions. At 3:30pm as usual, I waited outside the school anxiously. T came out with her normal demeanor. I hold her hand and said "tell me about your day." She said, "I have bad news and good news."
"Tell me about the bad news first."
"Kyla's sister got killed in a car accident." She said in a matter of fact voice. "But Kyla was OK."
"I heard that too. It's very sad." I commented. She nodded.
"What's the good news then?"
"I had a wonderful day!" T said cheerfully. It made me LOL. Kids are a lot more resilient than we have thought.
On the way home, we talked more about Kyle and reactions of her teacher and fellow students She said "we should pray for Kyla and her family." "Most definitely!" I said.
I debated if I should go to T's school, but decided not to. It makes more sense to see kid's reaction before taking any actions. At 3:30pm as usual, I waited outside the school anxiously. T came out with her normal demeanor. I hold her hand and said "tell me about your day." She said, "I have bad news and good news."
"Tell me about the bad news first."
"Kyla's sister got killed in a car accident." She said in a matter of fact voice. "But Kyla was OK."
"I heard that too. It's very sad." I commented. She nodded.
"What's the good news then?"
"I had a wonderful day!" T said cheerfully. It made me LOL. Kids are a lot more resilient than we have thought.
On the way home, we talked more about Kyle and reactions of her teacher and fellow students She said "we should pray for Kyla and her family." "Most definitely!" I said.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
换地板
10月上旬开始这个换起居室木地板的项目，整整拖了快一个月！前后返工两次，最后给K下了最后通牒，必须在感恩节前完工。昨天自己跑到油漆店挑了油漆，今天下午上过色之后，和想象的差不多，终于松了一口气。原来的sand mark也有很大的改善。关键是老的白橡木和新的红橡木上色后差别不大，整体感出来了。最后再坚持两天上了topcoat就大功告成了。这中间学到的经验教训是，对任何许诺都应该持怀疑态度，自动把原定的工程时间加2倍。下次他再提任何工程的建议，首先给出一个详细的日程进度来。
Saturday, November 12, 2011
教育与就业
周五单位里的几个女孩一起吃饭，说起孩子的教育问题，大家都有很多感悟。WW的儿子9岁自己要求学钢琴，并且很喜欢，他只有两个课外活动，两个他都很喜欢；她的女儿也非常独立。QJ的女儿今年进了哈佛，她的女儿是个独特的孩子，从中学起就选修了很多社区学院的才艺课程，这些才艺在学校中用上了，参加校报，辩论队，后来又参加了很多全国性团体的活动，在州一级得了不少奖。虽然她的理科不是很强，标准考试也不是最突出，但是她在她的强项上脱颖而出，如意进入自己的理想大学。
下午送T去芭蕾排练的路上，听到NPR一个关于教育和就业的报道，在当前的经济状况下，大学毕业生面临暗淡的就业前景，很多非实用专业的毕业生很难找到工作。看来让孩子在自己的爱好特长和专业前景上找到一个平衡点非常重要。这个报道是根据乔治城大学的教育与就业中心最新的报告。
http://www9.georgetown.edu/grad/gppi/hpi/cew/pdfs/stem-complete.pdf
这个报告中的抓住我眼球的几点：
下午送T去芭蕾排练的路上，听到NPR一个关于教育和就业的报道，在当前的经济状况下，大学毕业生面临暗淡的就业前景，很多非实用专业的毕业生很难找到工作。看来让孩子在自己的爱好特长和专业前景上找到一个平衡点非常重要。这个报道是根据乔治城大学的教育与就业中心最新的报告。
http://www9.georgetown.edu/grad/gppi/hpi/cew/pdfs/stem-complete.pdf
这个报告中的抓住我眼球的几点：
- Our STEM analysis also includes state-bystate data. By state, we find that Washington, D.C., has the highest proportion of STEM jobs nationwide, while California has the highest number of STEM jobs. The states with the fastest rates of STEM growth are Virginia, Nevada, and Utah。
- STEM earnings advantages are high and growing faster than wages for similarly-educated workers—except workers in Healthcare Professional and Managerial and Professional occupations （还是医生和管理人员挣得多）
- 行业工资的数据
- 老外占STEM workers巨大百分比。
- 2018年的成长趋势 （婴儿潮一代的退休）
Friday, November 11, 2011
Lucretius：On the Nature of Things
今天读纽约客上的The Answer Man by Stephen Greenblatt, 关于Titus Lucretius's On the Nature of Things. 其中有几段有意思的。
原子--
“On the Nature of Things” is clearly the work of a disciple who is transmitting ideas that had been developed in Greece centuries earlier. Epicurus was Lucretius’ philosophical messiah, and his vision may be traced to a single incandescent idea: that everything that has ever existed and everything that will ever exist is put together out of what the Roman poet called “the seeds of things,” indestructible building blocks, irreducibly small in size, unimaginably vast in number. The Greeks had a word for these invisible building blocks, things that, as they conceived them, could not be divided any further: atoms.
世界--
The stuff of the universe, Lucretius proposed, is an infinite number of atoms moving randomly through space, like dust motes in a sunbeam, colliding, hooking together, forming complex structures, breaking apart again, in a ceaseless process of creation and destruction. There is no escape from this process. When we look up at the night sky and marvel at the numberless stars, we are not seeing the handiwork of the gods or a crystalline sphere. We are seeing the same material world of which we are a part and from whose elements we are made. There is no master plan, no divine architect, no intelligent design. Nature restlessly experiments, and we are simply one among the innumerable results: “We are all sprung from celestial seed; all have that same father, from whom our fostering mother earth receives liquid drops of water, and then teeming brings forth bright corn and luxuriant trees and the race of mankind, brings forth all the generations of wild beasts, providing food with which all nourish their bodies and lead a sweet life and beget their offspring.”
All things, including the species to which we belong, have evolved over vast stretches of time. The evolution is random, though in the case of living organisms it involves a principle of natural selection. That is, species that are suited to survive and to reproduce successfully endure, at least for a time; those which are not so well suited die off quickly. Other species existed and vanished before we came onto the scene; our kind, too, will vanish one day. Nothing—from our own species to the sun—lasts forever. Only the atoms are immortal.
In a universe so constituted, Lucretius argued, it is absurd to think that the earth and its inhabitants occupy a central place, or that the world was purpose-built to accommodate human beings: “The child, like a sailor cast forth by the cruel waves, lies naked upon the ground, speechless, in need of every kind of vital support, as soon as nature has spilt him forth with throes from his mother’s womb into the regions of light.” There is no reason to set humans apart from other animals, no hope of bribing or appeasing the gods, no place for religious fanaticism, no call for ascetic self-denial, no justification for dreams of limitless power or perfect security, no rationale for wars of conquest or self-aggrandizement, no possibility of triumphing over nature. Instead, he wrote, human beings should conquer their fears, accept the fact that they themselves and all the things they encounter are transitory, and embrace the beauty and the pleasure of the world.
死亡--
So, when our mortal frame shall be disjoin’d,
The lifeless lump uncoupled from the mind,
From sense of grief and pain we shall be free;
We shall not feel, because we shall not be.
Though earth in seas, and seas in heaven were lost,
We should not move, we only should be toss’d.
Nay, e’en suppose when we have suffer’d fate
The soul should feel in her divided state,
What’s that to us? for we are only we,
While souls and bodies in one frame agree.
Nay, though our atoms should revolve by chance,
And matter leap into the former dance;
Though time our life and motion could restore,
And make our bodies what they were before,
What gain to us would all this bustle bring?
The new-made man would be another thing.
最后一段作者个人的回应--
All the same, in the great Laurentian Library, surrounded by the achievements of Renaissance Florence, I felt the full force of what this ancient Roman poet had bequeathed to the world, a tortuous trail that led from the celebration of Venus, past broken columns, high-domed churches, and inquisitorial fires, toward Jefferson, Darwin, and Einstein. And I registered, too, what Lucretius had given to me personally: the means to elude the suffocating grasp of my mother’s fears and the encouragement to take deep pleasure in my brief time on the shores of light.
一个注脚--
The brilliant French astronomer, philosopher, and priest Pierre Gassendi devoted himself to an ambitious attempt to reconcile Epicureanism and Christianity
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/08/08/110808fa_fact_greenblatt?currentPage=all
原子--
“On the Nature of Things” is clearly the work of a disciple who is transmitting ideas that had been developed in Greece centuries earlier. Epicurus was Lucretius’ philosophical messiah, and his vision may be traced to a single incandescent idea: that everything that has ever existed and everything that will ever exist is put together out of what the Roman poet called “the seeds of things,” indestructible building blocks, irreducibly small in size, unimaginably vast in number. The Greeks had a word for these invisible building blocks, things that, as they conceived them, could not be divided any further: atoms.
世界--
The stuff of the universe, Lucretius proposed, is an infinite number of atoms moving randomly through space, like dust motes in a sunbeam, colliding, hooking together, forming complex structures, breaking apart again, in a ceaseless process of creation and destruction. There is no escape from this process. When we look up at the night sky and marvel at the numberless stars, we are not seeing the handiwork of the gods or a crystalline sphere. We are seeing the same material world of which we are a part and from whose elements we are made. There is no master plan, no divine architect, no intelligent design. Nature restlessly experiments, and we are simply one among the innumerable results: “We are all sprung from celestial seed; all have that same father, from whom our fostering mother earth receives liquid drops of water, and then teeming brings forth bright corn and luxuriant trees and the race of mankind, brings forth all the generations of wild beasts, providing food with which all nourish their bodies and lead a sweet life and beget their offspring.”
All things, including the species to which we belong, have evolved over vast stretches of time. The evolution is random, though in the case of living organisms it involves a principle of natural selection. That is, species that are suited to survive and to reproduce successfully endure, at least for a time; those which are not so well suited die off quickly. Other species existed and vanished before we came onto the scene; our kind, too, will vanish one day. Nothing—from our own species to the sun—lasts forever. Only the atoms are immortal.
In a universe so constituted, Lucretius argued, it is absurd to think that the earth and its inhabitants occupy a central place, or that the world was purpose-built to accommodate human beings: “The child, like a sailor cast forth by the cruel waves, lies naked upon the ground, speechless, in need of every kind of vital support, as soon as nature has spilt him forth with throes from his mother’s womb into the regions of light.” There is no reason to set humans apart from other animals, no hope of bribing or appeasing the gods, no place for religious fanaticism, no call for ascetic self-denial, no justification for dreams of limitless power or perfect security, no rationale for wars of conquest or self-aggrandizement, no possibility of triumphing over nature. Instead, he wrote, human beings should conquer their fears, accept the fact that they themselves and all the things they encounter are transitory, and embrace the beauty and the pleasure of the world.
死亡--
So, when our mortal frame shall be disjoin’d,
The lifeless lump uncoupled from the mind,
From sense of grief and pain we shall be free;
We shall not feel, because we shall not be.
Though earth in seas, and seas in heaven were lost,
We should not move, we only should be toss’d.
Nay, e’en suppose when we have suffer’d fate
The soul should feel in her divided state,
What’s that to us? for we are only we,
While souls and bodies in one frame agree.
Nay, though our atoms should revolve by chance,
And matter leap into the former dance;
Though time our life and motion could restore,
And make our bodies what they were before,
What gain to us would all this bustle bring?
The new-made man would be another thing.
最后一段作者个人的回应--
All the same, in the great Laurentian Library, surrounded by the achievements of Renaissance Florence, I felt the full force of what this ancient Roman poet had bequeathed to the world, a tortuous trail that led from the celebration of Venus, past broken columns, high-domed churches, and inquisitorial fires, toward Jefferson, Darwin, and Einstein. And I registered, too, what Lucretius had given to me personally: the means to elude the suffocating grasp of my mother’s fears and the encouragement to take deep pleasure in my brief time on the shores of light.
一个注脚--
The brilliant French astronomer, philosopher, and priest Pierre Gassendi devoted himself to an ambitious attempt to reconcile Epicureanism and Christianity
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/08/08/110808fa_fact_greenblatt?currentPage=all
Thursday, November 10, 2011
史华慈，卢梭和文革
最近白桦在讨论毛泽东和文化大革命的思想源流，有人搬出史华慈（Benjamin I. Schwartz）1968和1978年的著作，试图梳理“毛泽东发动“文革”运动的直接动因，虽不能排除政治上层权力再分配的因素，但在深层理论的角度上，更应当被看作是自法国启蒙运动以来，以卢梭为代表的“道德主义取向”和以百科全书派为代表的“工程主义取向”之间理论冲突的持续反映。同时，在比较思想史的框架下，史华慈又认为，卢梭思想的某一方面与中国孟子思想的某一方面，也发生了普遍的共鸣。” （萧延中）。
有人说卢梭是开启一个时代的伟人，我对他的思想源头比较感兴趣。早上有空，看了维基上关于他的条目，真的很复杂。他是日内瓦新教出身，却因人生际遇在青春期改信天主教。他游学意大利，法国，最终回到日内瓦，回归新教。私德方面，可以说惨不忍睹，竟然可以名正言顺地抛弃自己的儿子。著述却流行于王公贵胄，贩夫走卒之中。他的社会契约论不光影响了后来的法国启蒙运动，更是为后来的雅各宾派，黑格尔，和马克思提供了理论的框架。王元化提到霍布斯对卢梭的影响。维基里则提到他受Aristotle, Niccolò Machiavelli, Michel De Montaigne, Hugo Grotius, Samuel von Pufendorf, Thomas Hobbes, John Locke, Jean Barbeyrac, Jean-Jacques Burlamaqui, Denis Diderot影响；且影响了Kant, The French Revolution, Robespierre, Louis de Saint-Just, The Counter-Enlightenment, Fichte, Hegel, Goethe, Alexis de Tocqueville, Friedrich Nietzsche, Romanticism, Paine, Comte, Bolívar, Marx, Engels, Derrida, Paul de Man, Benedetto Croce, Galvano Della Volpe, Claude Lévi-Strauss, Leo Strauss, Mary Shelley, Émile Durkheim, Mikhail Bakunin, Maria Montessori, Leo Tolstoy, John Rawls, Juan José Castelli, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk。
史华慈的论述以前没有接触过，这是他的主要著作，以后有时间慢慢来读。
Chinese Communism and the Rise of Mao (1951)
In search of wealth and power: Yen Fu and the West (1964)
Communism and China; ideology in flux (1968)
The World of Thought in Ancient China (1985)
The secret speeches of Chairman Mao : from the hundred flowers to the great leap forward by Zedong Mao (1989)
Reflections on the May Fourth movement: a symposium (1972)
China's Cultural Values (1985)
China and other matters (1996)
有人说卢梭是开启一个时代的伟人，我对他的思想源头比较感兴趣。早上有空，看了维基上关于他的条目，真的很复杂。他是日内瓦新教出身，却因人生际遇在青春期改信天主教。他游学意大利，法国，最终回到日内瓦，回归新教。私德方面，可以说惨不忍睹，竟然可以名正言顺地抛弃自己的儿子。著述却流行于王公贵胄，贩夫走卒之中。他的社会契约论不光影响了后来的法国启蒙运动，更是为后来的雅各宾派，黑格尔，和马克思提供了理论的框架。王元化提到霍布斯对卢梭的影响。维基里则提到他受Aristotle, Niccolò Machiavelli, Michel De Montaigne, Hugo Grotius, Samuel von Pufendorf, Thomas Hobbes, John Locke, Jean Barbeyrac, Jean-Jacques Burlamaqui, Denis Diderot影响；且影响了Kant, The French Revolution, Robespierre, Louis de Saint-Just, The Counter-Enlightenment, Fichte, Hegel, Goethe, Alexis de Tocqueville, Friedrich Nietzsche, Romanticism, Paine, Comte, Bolívar, Marx, Engels, Derrida, Paul de Man, Benedetto Croce, Galvano Della Volpe, Claude Lévi-Strauss, Leo Strauss, Mary Shelley, Émile Durkheim, Mikhail Bakunin, Maria Montessori, Leo Tolstoy, John Rawls, Juan José Castelli, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk。
史华慈的论述以前没有接触过，这是他的主要著作，以后有时间慢慢来读。
Chinese Communism and the Rise of Mao (1951)
In search of wealth and power: Yen Fu and the West (1964)
Communism and China; ideology in flux (1968)
The World of Thought in Ancient China (1985)
The secret speeches of Chairman Mao : from the hundred flowers to the great leap forward by Zedong Mao (1989)
Reflections on the May Fourth movement: a symposium (1972)
China's Cultural Values (1985)
China and other matters (1996)
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
忧愁河之桥
高中的时候，他坐在我后面，虽然男女生不说话，但我脑后的眼睛知道他在关注我的一举一动。毕业的时候，他送我的礼物是他画的低头沉思的我，背景是忧愁河之桥的乐谱。他身上有我喜欢的敏锐和诗意的气息。他去了武汉读哲学，我在上海读文学，我们常常通信，他是我珍惜的知己。很快我爱上了别人，虽然很清楚他一直在等我。每次寒暑假回家，我们总是马上去看对方，交流各自的经历，但是我总是小心避免与他谈感情。毕业之后，我们重回故乡，一群死党仍然常常在一起，很多时候他沉静地看我高谈阔论，只是目光不再热切，添了一些深沉。唯一一次在我情感的空白之中，一度想做他的女朋友，但是立刻发现他只能是我的好朋友。之后我出国读书，成家，做母亲；他结婚，离婚，再婚，做父亲。我们像两个轨道上的行星，再无交集。
周末收到姐姐的E,"告诉你一个不好的消息”，是她的标题。我在不安中打开邮件，结果看到他出差车祸去世的消息。我在网上徒劳地搜索，想知道车祸的详情，在好几条关于他的新闻中，看到一张他和同事的照片，日期就是他车祸的头一天。他的样子，仍是我熟悉的。
熬到早上，拨通中国的电话，那头是他的同桌，死党之一，他诧异不已。我开口提到他的名字，多少年来小心关上的记忆闸门一下子被眼泪冲开。只能重复一句话，“为什么会这样？！”
他曾送给我一句泰戈尔的诗：“使生如夏花之绚烂，死如秋叶之静美”。我们相识在青春的盛夏，如今他真的如秋叶般飘离，让我真切体味生命的四季。
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
周末收到姐姐的E,"告诉你一个不好的消息”，是她的标题。我在不安中打开邮件，结果看到他出差车祸去世的消息。我在网上徒劳地搜索，想知道车祸的详情，在好几条关于他的新闻中，看到一张他和同事的照片，日期就是他车祸的头一天。他的样子，仍是我熟悉的。
熬到早上，拨通中国的电话，那头是他的同桌，死党之一，他诧异不已。我开口提到他的名字，多少年来小心关上的记忆闸门一下子被眼泪冲开。只能重复一句话，“为什么会这样？！”
他曾送给我一句泰戈尔的诗：“使生如夏花之绚烂，死如秋叶之静美”。我们相识在青春的盛夏，如今他真的如秋叶般飘离，让我真切体味生命的四季。
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
再提笔
很久没有写东西了。今天得闲去XYW的博克，看到她几年如一日的勤恳耕耘。她的窍门也就是我原来所用的小段时间管理法，还有奇妙的笔记本，对我有很大的触动。前几天CL也来E谈到重返书桌，让我觉得当是重新提笔的时候了。
今早在给孩子们记录progress的时候，想到这应当成为每月做的事情。不单是把他们的成长点滴保存下来，更可以检查目标与计划的实效。在这样内省与回顾的时候，更发现这些孩子们是多么的可爱与可贵。
下班和T一起复习中文，她更喜欢这样两人亲密学习的方式。也许该改变光依靠教科书的方式了。她的中文学习与我订的目标还是有很大的差距，需要更多的投入和灵活的方式。
晚饭终于吃上了成功的翠花排骨，这是我们第四次的实验。原来窍门是密封。对我来说，湿料还可以减一点。
晚上和孩子们读故事书，美国的儿童读物真是不同，把小孩子的成长经历都编在故事里了。也许我也应该开始写儿童读物。
今早在给孩子们记录progress的时候，想到这应当成为每月做的事情。不单是把他们的成长点滴保存下来，更可以检查目标与计划的实效。在这样内省与回顾的时候，更发现这些孩子们是多么的可爱与可贵。
下班和T一起复习中文，她更喜欢这样两人亲密学习的方式。也许该改变光依靠教科书的方式了。她的中文学习与我订的目标还是有很大的差距，需要更多的投入和灵活的方式。
晚饭终于吃上了成功的翠花排骨，这是我们第四次的实验。原来窍门是密封。对我来说，湿料还可以减一点。
晚上和孩子们读故事书，美国的儿童读物真是不同，把小孩子的成长经历都编在故事里了。也许我也应该开始写儿童读物。
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